As I sit on the precipice of financial freedom, I can't help but realize how this quest for freedom is in fact a spiritual journey. And although some would say that money is the root of all evil, I do beg to differ. I feel that the lack of money, or perhaps the lack of freedom that money brings, could in fact be the truer evil. I believe we are all meant to be financially free. And when we don't have what is inherently ours, an imbalance occurs. And this is the state of the world that we live in today... severely unbalanced and unrighteous.
The world is abundant in riches and resources beyond our wildest imaginations, and yet a small percentage of greedy individuals have hoarded the world's wealth, and in essence, have kept the majority of the population in poverty... at the very least in slavery. And so for years I have struggled with this energetic (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) bondage that has been placed upon myself and the majority of my brothers and sisters across the globe. This is something that has inflicted my very being for as long as I can remember.
As a child, when asked what I wanted to do for a living when I grew up I boldly stated, “I want to make the most amount of money, in the least amount of time, with the least amount of effort.” I never forgot that I said this. It was clearly an odd and non typical response of a child. And to this very day I still ponder how I arrived at such an answer. I was raised by two middle class public high school teachers who firmly believed in practicing good work ethics. Working 9-5 (or 9-3 as a teacher) was not only perfectly acceptable to my parents, but they pretty much believed that it was mandatory in this society. Starting one's own business or even hitting it rich arbitrarily was not something to even consider. You go to school, get a job working for someone else, pay your bills on time, be a good citizen and do as you're told. But for me, this philosophy did not ring true... and it still does not ring true.
Perhaps monetary freedom became extra important to me after listening to my mother complain about not having enough money for the entirety of my childhood, and still to this very day as an adult! One could say that I'm the product of negative financial programming. A lifetime of financial struggles would indicate this. It's been an ongoing cycle that I've hoped would come to an end one day.
There were other things as a child that seemed to bother me and influence my financial state of mind. I always seemed to feel hungry and I recall that the refrigerator was often empty, or at least did not contain items that would satisfy my hunger. My mother reminds me that I ate cherrios for dinner almost every night for the year she attended night school. And ofcourse there's that Ms. Piggy bean bag that my mother wouldn't buy for me that day. Ofcourse most children are told at one point or another that they can't have something in a store. The child may cry, perhaps have a tantrum...and life goes on. I suppose this is normal. Most children go through this. And although my father would spoil me to no end and buy me anything I asked for when I saw him on the weekends, I still felt any overwhelming sense of lack... emptiness and sadness.
I have many childhood stories of entrepreneurship. I was always trying to make a buck. I even started working crappy part time jobs as early as I could at the age of 14. I became a certified pool lifeguard so my pay was a little higher than the average minimum wage job. I attended college for business and graduated with honors. After college I decided to take a full time job in outside sales. At the time I was dealing with physical and mental health problems. I had difficulty getting up in the morning and dragging myself to work. I also had hopes of becoming a successful entertainer. Taking this job made me feel like I was giving up on my dreams. I was in pain and becoming more and more depressed everyday. I witnessed older employees getting fired. I felt helpless. I wondered, “Is this how my career is going to end in 40 or so years?” There was absolutely no sense of security. I was miserable, and although I had just signed a lease for a new apartment, I had to quit. I was dying a slow and painful spiritual death. I knew the end was near when I started envisioning jumping off buildings and walking into traffic. I didn't want to live this life anymore so I did the unthinkable- I quit!
From that point onward I knew I could never work a 9-5 job again. So for years I struggled coming up with all types of creative ways to make money. But even owning my own businesses proved difficult when suffering with a mood disorder, as well as physical health issues. I was forever struggling with bills, destroyed my credit twice and had to endure the humiliation of asking my parents for financial help over and over again. I suppose I've really been blessed though, because my parents would continue to help me as much as they could even though they were adamantly opposed to my unstable and unconventional lifestyle.
And I can't tell you how many times I've had emotional breakdowns, just crying for days, begging the universe/ God/ spirits to help me become financially free. I've prayed, meditated, created all types of money rituals to no avail. And then there's those times when I've come so close. I would get excited...get my hopes up...feel inspired every time I thought my struggle was about to end,...Then blam! It turns out to be a bluff! A cruel bluff! The dark side teasing me to no end....and the suffering would just continue as usual until the next bluff would come along and then the next. A permanent fix never seemed to materialize, although it appeared to be within arms reach on several occasions.
But I never give up. No! I won't give up because I know in my heart that I'm meant to live free. This I truly believe. I will not allow my challenges to get the best of me. No! I am better than that! So I started implementing strategies to change my mindstate and physical reality. Over the years I've spent a considerable amount of time working on my energy and spirit. My finances, and overall sense of abundance, has improved with the practice of reiki, meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, crystal healing, dietary changes, supplements, auto-suggestion and so forth. So you see... I have made quite the effort to create positive changes in my life. And all of these practices have improved my life drastically. The constant feeling of lack that once weighed upon me so heavily is no longer present. And when these thoughts of lack do arise I know how to remove them now. You see, our thoughts create our reality. So if we believe we are broke and struggling then that's what we create!
But I believe that my challenges have actually made me stronger, more compassionate, more empathic and more understanding of the plight of man and of the injustice in this world. Indeed, my suffering has not even come close to the suffering of those living in dire poverty in 3rd world countries, however, mentally, emotionally and spiritually I have felt that pain and hopelessness over and over again as if for lifetimes. I truly believe that, in a world as abundant as ours, nobody should suffer financial hardships. Nobody should go hungry, without a home, a shelter, adequate medical care... This society is appalling! We should all benefit from the fruits of this earth. Not just a small group of elites living off of our labor and owning everything!
And so, through my own suffering, I have come to learn that things are not right. Things are not just. And things must change! We are headed into a new era. The Age of Aquarius! The age of enlightenment! And it's time for us as human beings to step up and claim what is inherently ours. This earth belongs to all of us- not just to the banks! This life should not be about slaving to pay mortgages, slaving to keep up with bills and slaving to pay for school tuitions that prepare students to go back into the world as slaves! We should not have to be slaves to our credit scores! I know I did not come to this planet to just work, struggle to pay bills and die. I am meant for much more. So are you! Financial freedom is a basic human right that has been stolen from us. And the time has come to wake up and reclaim our birthright. You see... the achievement of financial freedom is not just about money- financial freedom is a spiritual journey! So instead of just focusing on money (or lack thereof) we need to focus on improving ourselves, improving our thoughts and improving our spirits. Once we get our spirit right, the rest will fall into place. 444
Jennie Haiman is a Reiki Master Energy Healer, Co-Founder of Self Saviorz Society California Non-Profit 501(c)(3), Poet, Author and Entertainer with goals to help raise the vibration and consciousness of humanity!