So I was attending my neighborhood farmer's market this past Sunday and I happened to be in a particularly good mood. I hadn't eaten any solid food in almost 24 hours and I felt like I was floating. I was high... Yes high! ...on superfoods ofcourse! I just had a shake before I left my apartment. Spirulina, Chlorella, E3 Live Blue Green Algae, Pomegranate, Acai, Goji, Noni, Blueberry, Orange, Aronia Berry, Moringa. Wheatgrass, Matcha, Red Marine Algae, Raw Phytoplankton... Yes! I was high indeed!
So when I arrived at the farmer's market I happened to see a lady and her daughter sitting on the ground by the entrance. They typically sit on the ground with a sign asking for money and food. The last time I saw them was a few weeks ago when I had purchased some eggs for them and the rest of their family. I greeted this lady and her daughter in a kind manner, as I always do, and whispered asking her if she wanted eggs again. This time she asked for curried chicken and rice. Without hesitation I told her that I would get it for her.
I did a little shopping for myself and finally found the curried chicken and rice stand. It was actually a caribbean food stand and I knew one of the ladies who worked there. She used to work in the vitamin section of Whole Foods when I shopped there back in the day. This lady also had a sister working there with her. They actually looked like twins! They both had a peaceful positive energy about them, yet seemed a bit tired from being at the market. It was actually closing soon. I got there late. They also gave off a slightly reserved, perhaps suspicious of white people energy which is completely understandable. I would be suspicious of white people too if I was black (or as I prefer to say... highly melanated... because black and white do not exist... just different shades of melanin.)
The caribbean sisters told me that they were out of the curried chicken and gave me a list of what they had left. I walked back to the lady and her daughter and explained that there was no curried chicken left. So we walked back to the stand together to get this all sorted out. The lady ended up getting an oxtail meal plus something else on the side that she asked me to buy for her. In the end this cost me $19... out of a $20 bill that I was getting ready to deposit into my bank account.
The caribbean ladies were very kind and gave me an extra side of plantains as a reward for my good deed. I handed the extra plantains to the lady and her daughter who I was helping. I explained to the caribbean ladies that I was fasting and that I wasn't used to eating plantains. They could in fact upset my stomach... especially after fasting. I had hoped that they didn't take offense to this as it may have appeared that I was rejecting their food... which by the way, I used to eat jerk chicken, rice and plantains all the time when I lived back in NY. The woman and her daughter walked away to meet with the rest of their family at which point I stated that the $20 I used to purchase their food was supposed to be deposited into my bank account. But I laughed and said, “Oh well!” It was another good deed to add to my good karma points!
In an effort to make me feel better about my $19 loss, the caribbean ladies started saying that I did a real good deed. That the meal I just purchased was feeding an entire family. The lady and her daughter happened to be at the market with her husband and their son as well. They had all sat down on the ground to share the meal that I had just purchased for them. Then the caribbean ladies started talking about my good karma and how this act of kindness will come right back to me, etc. I smiled knowingly. I let them know that I was well aware of the good karma that they were speaking of. I am very much tuned into that vibration. It was a beautiful moment in time as we connected. We all seemed to be on the same page energetically.
At this point I felt compelled to share a card for my spiritual poetry book and blog. I wanted to share more! Giving and sharing is contagious for me. Once I start it's difficult to stop. I wanted to show these sisters that I really understood what they were saying about karma. So I reached in my bag, grabbed out a card and went to hand it to the sister of the woman I knew from whole foods. I was really feeling her positive energy. I told her that I would like to share my spiritual poetry book and blog with her. But her reaction was not one that I had anticipated.
With a defensive tone she exclaimed something to the tune of, “Jesus is my God so I cannot accept your card, spiritual book, blog or whatever.” I was flabbergasted! These women were so spiritual and understanding of energy and karma... yet a book and blog that I wrote to help humanity all of a sudden became blasphemous. What had I done wrong? Did the rejection of the plantains warrant a rejection of my book and blog? Perhaps? If we are all reflections of one another then this could've been the case. Maybe I should've just accepted the plantains and acted like I was going to eat them later.
It was a bit of a shock and hurtful, although I really don't get hurt because in reality I have no expectations. But I am empathic and I do feel rejection pretty strong. What I didn't understand is why a belief in Jesus (or whoever for that matter) would warrant an outright rejection of my spiritual poetry book and blog. Or perhaps a spiritual poetry book written by the “white devil” could be construed as questionable? They may have consciously or subconsciously decided that I was or had the making of a “white devil” even though I do have tan skin and a tribal melanated spiritual consciousness.
How would reading my book and blog be detrimental to their spiritual well-being? How would it go against Jesus? And if it was all about Jesus and not my whiteness, then how could this lady actually tell which God I worshiped anyway? Perhaps my spiritual poetry is all about praising Jesus? Or maybe I just don't appear to be the praising Jesus type? But how could this lady judge my book and blog without actually reading it first? A case of close-mindedness perhaps? I try my best not to judge or seem judgmental when these religious/ spiritual conversations arise. I do not wish to offend or hurt anyone's feelings. It's my wish to spread happiness, positivity, love and light. And this is what I feel like I'm doing with my book and blog! At least I hope this is what I'm doing! Am I over-analyzing? I do tend to do that don't I?
So I immediately said something like, “My book is not anti-Christian, except perhaps for that one poem that states that Jesus won't save you.” “Ooops... did I really just say that?”, (lol) I thought to myself and I laughed a little out loud. I believe she said something about Jesus being the one and only true God...etc etc... She was very insistent on this fact. She also stated that Jesus created many miracles in her life... so on and so forth. She was absolutely convinced in the power of Jesus! I smiled kindly and told her that our thoughts create our reality so if you believe that Jesus is the one and only true God then it will become a reality.... for you... ofcourse. Not necessarily for me... because I create my own reality with my own thoughts and beliefs.
If you believe in Jesus and his miracles then that is what it will be! I am not contesting anyone's beliefs. And if Jesus has created miracles in your life then he will probably continue creating miracles in your life... although I don't particularly believe that Jesus is the one creating these miracles, but in fact it is your thoughts of Jesus (or whoever) creating these miracles that creates the miracles. What I'm trying to say is... if you believe in miracles... and you are experiencing miracles in your life, regardless of who you think is making these miracles happen... the reality is that YOU are creating these miracles yourself with your own thoughts and beliefs. And this is because God energy is within you. It is within all of us. We are all Gods and Goddesses.
Jesus supposedly said, “Watch what thou thinketh!” What he was trying to tell us (if he actually existed) is that our thoughts create our reality! I believe he also stated somewhere that we are all Gods. But anyway... this is just my humble opinion... I was not condemning this lady's belief in Jesus as far as I could tell, but she did condemn my book and blog without ever actually reading it... which wasn't very neighborly in my opinion! I mean... at least give the book and blog a chance, right? Who cares if I say that Jesus won't save you in one of my poems. If you believe in Jesus so much, then what I say shouldn't matter or make the slightest dent in your belief system! Or just take the card and give it to someone else right? Or throw it away? Why start defending your beliefs all of a sudden? What is the reason for being so defensive? Why do I need to hear about Jesus being the one and only true God? Can't you just know this and feel good about it without having to say it out loud... to me...in the form of a rejection...of my card, book and blog?
The conversation was getting a bit uncomfortable because I personally do not enjoy having conversations about God with people who are so absolutely sure of what or who God is. Do any of us really know? And I definitely don't feel like it's necessary for me to be given a lecture on God... especially if God must have a particular name (ex: Jesus). The defensive tone is not something I particularly enjoy either. I really do not want to compete over God. In fact, I will admit, if you want your God to be better or more so of a real God than my God, then sure... your God can have that title! I have no ego issues when it comes to God. My God is fake... yours is real.... etc etc... You win the game of life! Now I hope this makes you happy because all I want is peace and happiness... not an argument about the all-powerful all-knowing energy that created this universe and so forth...which in my opinion can be given any name (Jesus, Allah, Buddha, life-force energy, Love). Just like I can be given any name... but it's my God/ Love vibration that really counts. And the good deeds I perform are physical expressions of this God/ Love energy.
So I changed the topic and asked this lady what month she was born? I wanted to know her astrological sign... I wasn't sure at this point if astrology would be construed as blasphemous as well, but I figured it would definitely be a far better conversation then an illusionary debate over God, which I really didn't care to engage in. The lady said she was born this month... in March! Ha ha! I said, “Pisces? I'm born in March too! What day?” At this point I could feel that the lady was judging me as a charlatan with tricks up my sleeves. “White devil”? Perhaps I was just a little too white to be trusted? Or just not into Jesus enough to be trusted? Understandable I suppose!
So the lady doesn't answer me but instead asks me what day in March I was born. I tell her that I was born on March 17th. Her and her sister gasp and turn to each other with big smiles. She tells me that her birthday is March 16th! So we both have a positive pisces bonding moment and I tell her some really good things about pisces which I'm sure she already knew like that were very spiritual, sensitive, compassionate humanitarians...etc... I mean, the reality is, this lady and her sister, but especially this pisces lady, had a real positive vibe about her. She was running on a love vibration and I could feel it. But she was also a bit close-minded, critical, judgmental and definitely unmovingly stuck on Jesus... in an uncomfortably defensive way... perhaps also a bit superstitious... This is just an objective observation. I am not trying to be judgmental here. In reality, it appeared that the presence of Jesus in this lady's life was working for her in some positive way so who am I to judge her and say not to worship Jesus? I am not saying that at all.
In reality, we should all do what works for each of us individually. If praising Jesus allows you to channel and resonate a high frequency love vibration that is making your life and the lives around you more positive, then praising Jesus may just be the way to go... But that still begs the question...what is wrong with my spiritual poetry book and blog? Could their be a subconscious concern that the content of my book may make you question your beliefs? Is this a fear? And if so... well, fear is not on the frequency of God or Love. Fear is a negative frequency.
I finally ended the interaction by placing my last dollar in their tip jar. I think I intuitively knew that I was about to squeeze an article out of this experience. I also figured that I already spent $19 of the $20 so why not just let go of that last dollar anyway. Well, as soon as the dollar went in the jar, they all started singing a song about getting a tip! Ha ha! What a nice way to end my day at the farmer's market! Good karma all around...
But I was left feeling a little off by the whole God/ Jesus conversation. It kind of threw me for a loop. Especially the outright rejection of my book and blog, which I really don't make any money off of... It's just my philanthropic/ charitable contribution to this planet. I believe helping humanity is my main purpose for being here... if not my only purpose? I never actually told this lady who my God is... and she didn't ask me because she didn't care. Her God was the real God anyway... and whoever I worshiped... well, that God is just an illusion. But in reality it's really none of anyone's business who my God is anyway... especially those who have already decided that their God is better than my God. Close-minded individuals are not going to hear much of what I have to say anyway so it's pointless to waste energy trying to explain that the energy of God is within all of us. Crazy thing... I've actually been told that God is a black woman. Pretty ironic that a black woman (God) is worshiping a white man (Jesus). Well, I never actually asked her if her Jesus was black or white... but in the U.S he is usually white. Overseas... a whole other story!
I don't think God really needs to be called by any name, nor do I think that God cares. All that really matters is that we resonate on the frequency of the God/ Love vibration (or whatever you want to call it). Feeling joy as you help another being that is in need... you know what? To me... That is God! And God is LOVE! And I am LOVE. So that makes me God. In reality... we can debate and debate over and over again as to whose God is the real God, better God, greater God, etc.. all day long forever more! This is all based in ego... Judgment, fear, etc. These are all negative frequencies that separate us. I do not believe that it is necessary to be defensive about God. It is rather off-putting and seems pretty un-Godly in my opinion. And being defensive about Love is not very loving either. I do not have to be right or wrong or prove anything to anyone. I am consciously creating my reality as I am tuned into the God/ Love frequency... So be it! Does it really matter whose God is the real God? Do our Gods even have to have different names? What if all these different Gods were really the same God? Regardless... Can't we all just get along in peace and love and positivity? I mean seriously...What would Jesus do? lol
Jennie Haiman is a Reiki Master Energy Healer, Co-Founder of Self Saviorz Society California Non-Profit 501(c)(3), Poet, Author and Entertainer with goals to help raise the vibration and consciousness of humanity!