It's Mercury Retrograde Season!... And I'm Trying Not to Be Depressed!
Last Friday, on the first day of Mercury Retrograde, I inadvertently stopped myself from receiving a check for approximately $50,000 that I didn't even know was in the process of being sent to me. Up until that moment on Saturday, when I had discovered my terrible blunder, I was feeling pretty good. I was even thinking to myself how all the negative energy I had been experiencing in the past seemed to just disappear after I almost died of bronchitis last month. In fact, I've been feeling super grateful for being alive, for being able to sleep through the night without coughing and for getting along with my good friend/ roommate and his daughter (my step daughter). If I had been cursed, it seemed like the curse had been lifted after my bout with bronchitis. If I was dealing with negative entities and or demons, the bronchitis seemed to flush them all away... And then I find out that I severely messed up and cut myself off from receiving a beautiful gift from the universe of around $50k! A financial blessing that would have been most helpful to me. What a tremendous blunder! And not only that, I stopped other people from making money as well! I was trying my best not to feel devastated. But it hit me! Even though my spiritual mentor told me that this was a good sign because it meant that I was attracting money... It also meant that I was destroying my money manifestations! And this was not my intention at all!
Ofcourse after this happened I couldn't help but consider every supposed "bad" thing that is currently taking place in my life! I owe a whole bunch of money that I am currently unable to pay back, online sales have been low, my favorite beloved squirrel may be sick, my neighbor appears to be purposely making loud noises (gun shots and hammering) early every Saturday and Sunday morning to try to upset me (and it's been upsetting my step daughter), the same neighbor appears to be trying to get us all evicted by complaining to the leasing office that we were all up playing loud videos games Tuesday morning at 2am, I found out that another neighbor is purchasing a bb gun with the intention of shooting the squirrels at my building, my teeth are horribly stained and I may have to file a lawsuit against my dentist for malpractice, I have no sex drive, my dad's been going to the hospital for dizzy spells, my mom was sick in bed last Friday, they both took the covid vaccine, I haven't been sleeping very well, I have ugly bags under my eyes, my friend's brother just overdosed on drugs (but they managed to save him...this time!), I've been experiencing stomach upset and chest pains, my roommate is constantly falling asleep and snoring irritatingly loud day and night, he also makes disgusting throat clearing and hacking noises all day and at night, he actually woke me up at 5am with the hacking noise a few days ago, I receive a measly $500 a month (which I am grateful for) to care for his daughter (my step daughter) (drive her to school, pick her up from school, do activities with her after school, clean the entire apartment, wash the dishes, clean all their laundry and my laundry and the cat's laundry...and every so often my friend washes a few dishes and maybe vacuums!), I have no time or energy for friends or a life, and perhaps worst of all... my mother is super negative and constantly reminds me of everything that's wrong with my life and makes me feel horrible! It actually got so bad this week that I had to tell her that I need to take a prolonged break from talking to her on the phone... and sadly she's one of the only people I have to talk to! And what's worse, I know I upset her by texting her this... Then I started sneezing and feeling sick...
But on a brighter note, I am alive, I seem to be healthy, I've been on a liquid diet for the past 2 days and my stomach/ back pains appear to be dissipating, I do receive a great deal of financial help from my family, I am rally not struggling financially at all, I am super blessed, I eat well (when I'm not fasting), I take good supplements, I drink good spring water, I don't take any pharmaceuticals or street drugs, I just added a new multi-vitamin to my regimen and my energy is picking up, My under eye bags are looking better, I am starting to care to wear a little makeup and look good, I'm becoming more social with other parents (possibly making friend?), I am getting along with my friend/ roommate and his daughter/ my step daughter (whereas things were a bit rocky in the recent past), I sent reiki energy to my favorite squirrel (a few times) and her health appears to be improving now (sigh of relief), I am not feeling suicidal and I'm trying my very best not to feel upset right now or go into a depression. I do care to feel good. I haven't given up on life! Everyday I listen to positive affirmations, I sleep with positive affirmations, I drive listening to an amazing manifestation / law of attraction audio book, I read the Prosperity Bible, I pray and I meditate on feeling good and having the best of everything in life. I am doing everything in my power to attract good things... and I do feel good. I feel better than I felt over the weekend. I'm feeling better everyday. I expect good things to happen. Something good is going to happen now. I know this is going to be a positive retrograde... I just have to stay away from the negativity! This is what I must do! And all good things will come to me! It must happen! It will happen. I am willing it to happen!
No matter what...I feel good and I keep feeling better! I am wealth now, I am success now, I am perfect health now, I am harmony now! The best situations and circumstances are manifesting in my life right now! Perhaps I had to lose $50k to gain a million dollars? Perhaps this million dollars is off my radar screen right now...I can't see it but I know it's there... and it's on it's way to me right now! All good things are on their way to me right now!
And this my friend is how you turn a bad retrograde into a blessed retrograde! Everything starts in the mind! Thank the heavens! I am not going to be depressed after all!
Jennie H is a Reiki Master Energy Healer, Co-Founder of Self Saviorz Society California Non-Profit 501(c)(3), Poet, Author and Entertainer with goals to help raise the vibration and consciousness of humanity!