Overcoming Missed Opportunities, Bitterness and Regret!
I recently met a kind older gentleman at my small neighborhood public library. We had a very nice conversation about spirituality, crystals, copper jewelry and spirits. I gave him a card for my “Lover in Hell” spiritual poetry book and blog, after which we both went our separate ways. Days later I received an email through my Lover in Hell Book website. It was the older gentleman's son contacting me. For anonymity's sake let's say his name was “Pete.”
Pete stated in his initial email to me that his father handed him my business card because my beliefs reminded him of Pete's beliefs. His father excitedly told him to contact me. When Pete looked at my card he was struck by a synchronicity in regards to my book cover illustration which is displayed on the front of my card. He felt the universe directing him to reach out to me and so he did... He finally ended his message to me with hopes that we can talk soon.
Well, I was absolutely delighted! I love being contacted by like-minded individuals who are on the spiritual path just like me. I responded to Pete and said, “Good afternoon Pete! Hope you're having a great weekend! Yes, I had a very pleasant conversation with your father at the library. It is indeed an honor to connect with another like-minded spirit/ soul. We are in the shadow phase of our first Mercury retrograde of the new year as you may already know. Hope this retrograde is treating you well so far.... Sincerely, Jennie”
I looked in my email account and noticed that my email to Pete had bounced back to me. It didn't go through. The email he had put down on my website's contact form was incorrect. An intuitive feeling came over me... The fact that Pete gave me the wrong email address made me believe that perhaps our frequencies were not exactly on the same wavelength. And, perhaps whatever message I was meant to impart to him would be misconstrued, received in a distorted manner, misinterpreted or perhaps not even received at all. This tends to happen during the mercury retrograde (astrological) phase when communication is adversely impacted. The fact that Pete entered the wrong email address on my website contact form already proved to me that their was an energetic communication issue at play.
However... I decided to go ahead and attempt to figure out Pete's email address. I felt an urgency as if I knew there was something important I had to tell him... a message channeled from the universe perhaps? So when I studied his email address I noticed that the end was mail.com, very close to gmail.com. So I decided to send my message again to the same email address but with a 'g' in front of mail. Ha ha! It worked! I received a message back from Pete. But the message was not of the same upbeat energy that his original email message contained. It was a much different energy.
In a convoluted and not so eloquent fashion, Pete began to explain to me how he hasn't noticed any real signs of mercury retrograde in over 20 years because his life has pretty much sucked this whole time. He didn't use the word “sucked” but that's how his message translated to me. It was almost as if the mentioning of our present mercury retrograde was a negative trigger for him. I felt an upset energy on his words... a disappointed energy... a negative energy... an energy of poor me! Pete was expressing a victim mentality. Life has not been treating him so well and ofcourse he was not happy about it. It was not the type of energy that I wanted to engage with for very long. However, I felt that Pete needed my help. He needed to be enlightened about his present and ongoing condition.
So I decided to take the message he sent me and reflect it right back to him in a more concise manner with some added commentary. I wanted Pete to see and feel the energy that he was putting out to the universe and out to me. It was not a very positive energy and so I felt that Pete might not be too happy with my response to him and perhaps not even write back to me ever again. But in my opinion there was a lesson in my message to Pete that he needed to hear. Likewise, there was a lesson in his own message that he sent to me that he needed to gain some awareness of.
Sometimes the truth makes us feel good, but many times the truth makes us feel uncomfortable, sad and even angry. But I didn't care if Pete wrote back to me again or not. What was important to me is that he received the message... a message that I believe the universe was trying to relay to him through me... a complete stranger that is not looking for praise or favors. I really just wanted to help the guy. It was my intention to impart some wisdom, knowledge, insight and truth upon this troubled man who so bravely expressed his innermost thoughts to me (a complete stranger) through an email message.
So I wrote Pete and said the following, “Okay Pete, so if I'm hearing you correctly, there were some missed opportunities because they did not appear to be what you had envisioned for yourself. After which, you've been trapped in a very long period of stagnation? It seems that you have been dwelling on these missed opportunities and perhaps even experiencing some regret? Perhaps even bitterness? Am I correct? Thoughts are very strong you know... even strong enough to supersede astrology and retrogrades. Your thoughts create your reality! You must be familiar with the Law of Attraction? So thoughts of stagnation and missed opportunities create more stagnation and missed opportunities... or perhaps even no new opportunities whatsoever. So you are trying to discover how to break this vicious cycle now? Are you not? This is what it sounds like to me... Interesting how all of this comes out of simply mentioning a Mercury Retrograde... But everything unfolds as it is supposed to... even stagnation and disappointment has it's purpose. And anything can change at any given moment... But it all starts with our thoughts. By the way, I too have struggled with stagnation and thoughts of missed opportunities... wondering how much better my life would be right now if I had made better decisions or had more clarity back in the day, I think a lot of people deal with this actually. Jennie”
I actually had a lot more that I wanted to say to Pete. I wanted to help him learn how to change his thoughts so he could change his reality to a better one. But Pete never wrote back to me after I sent him that message. Perhaps he wasn't ready to hear the truth? Or it was a truth that he already knew deep down inside and bringing it to the surface was a bit painful for him. But interestingly, mercury retrograde is the perfect time for deep self-reflection and for inner truths to come to the surface- even if you personally haven't noticed a retrograde in over 20 years! Even if you don't even know what a mercury retrograde is! The fact is that planetary energies are affecting us on a daily basis whether we know about them or not!
But this article is not about mercury retrograde! Mercury retrograde is simply two words that may have triggered some painful realizations for a young man named Pete who I may never talk to ever again. I wanted to write this article as a reminder that we create our own realities. What we think... what we focus on... WILL create our reality! If you are stuck in a miserable cycle it is up to you individually, and no one else, to break yourself out of that cycle. We all need to be very aware of the stories we tell to ourselves and to other people. The more you tell a story the more energy it gains and the more it becomes a reality. If you don't like your story don't complain about it... change it! Complaining will only cause you to create more things to complain about and thus contribute to more complaints!
You get what you give! The thoughts you project out into your environment will always be projected right back to you. If you don't like what you are manifesting in life it is important to take a look back at where the manifestation originated...within you...within you're very own mind! Everything you experience is a reflection of you and your thoughts! Once you become empowered with this realization, then the real change can begin!
So perhaps you believe that changing your thoughts is easier said than done? Well... I've lived through some very difficult times myself. I've struggled with depression, anger, irritability and anxiety which has made it beyond challenging for me to gain control over my thoughts and thus my reality. Mood disorder runs in my family- and pretty bad on my father's side. I've been stuck in many negative cycles throughout my life. I dated all the wrong people for a while. I was homeless living in hotels on and off for a while. I've struggled with finances. I've struggled with health issues. I was even attracting violent women who physically attacked me. No, this life has not been an easy one. But there's no excuses! There's no one to blame! I finally woke up one day and realized that I had to somehow gain control over my mind. I had to take responsibility for my manifestations. I had to create a happier, more balanced and more fulfilling life.
I started meditating, changing my diet and reprogramming my negative thoughts into positive ones. To this very day I still listen to positive affirmations whenever I'm home just to keep my thoughts positive. I have them playing in the background at all times, even as I type this article the positive affirmations are playing! I also go to sleep listening to hypnosis mp3's when it seems necessary. Believe it or not... I even wrote out a positive affirmation 200 times a day for over a year. 100 times when I woke up and 100 times when I went to sleep. Over 365 days! Most days that I wrote this affirmation I also spoke it out loud. I keep this book of affirmations in my meditation pyramid that I sit in daily.
Changing your thoughts takes work... it takes more work for some of us than others. Negative programming is difficult to transmute but not impossible! All you really have to know is where to begin... and I'm hear to tell you... it all starts with the mind! When you take control of your mind you take control of your reality... and then everything becomes possible! Here's a hint... In order to find true and lasting happiness and relieve ourselves from bitterness, regret and any other negative thoughts and emotions, we must first embrace our unified-self will and relinquish our ego-self will. The unified-self will is objective intent in motion through extension, namely, Love, Peace, Joy, sharing and creative inspiration. The ego-self will is subjective intent in motion through projection expressed as guilt, fear, judgment, attachment, control, thought, emotion, having and becoming.
Interested in learning more? I recommend checking out the book “Take Me To The Truth: Undoing the Ego” by Nouk Sanchez and Tomas Vieira. My good friend and reiki client just gifted this wonderful book to me and it just so happens that the content completely synchronizes with this article! I love when things just sync up so precisely! Til next time... Wishing you all the best thoughts and manifestations in life!
Jennie Haiman is a Reiki Master Energy Healer, Co-Founder of Self Saviorz Society California Non-Profit 501(c)(3), Poet, Author and Entertainer with goals to help raise the vibration and consciousness of humanity!