Negativity Somehow Snuck Up On Me... And Then It Was Gone!
As I was busy being excited about a special gift that I had expected to arrive (any day now) after 3 months of anticipation...somehow negativity snuck through the door! It all started on Sunday June 4th when a $200 monthly payment I had been expecting, that I really needed, did not arrive! On Monday I discovered that the payments had been cancelled and that I wouldn't be receiving $200 a month again until September! Wow! What a bummer! This may have been what got the bummer ball rolling? Or was it that bad headache that I got from the Chocho protein that started the ball rolling? Who knows? But it got rolling!
On Tuesday I experienced a negative reaction/ interaction at a social gathering when I attempted to stay in touch with the parents of two boys who attend the same school as my step daughter. I liked the dad's energy and I felt that the dad would vibe really well with my step daughter's dad. Unfortunately his wife thought that I was trying to hook myself up with him. Her energy was heavy with suspicion. I guess she didn't understand the nature of pisces! Our friendliness is often mistaken for flirtatiousness. I guess I must be flirting with my cats, the squirrels, the bees and the hummingbirds all the time! The wife ended up taking down my email address with the weird excuse that her and her husband don't give out their phone numbers to people unless it's for business. It was a blatant and rude rejection that had been haunting me for days. The irony is that I wanted to hook her husband up (a theater actor) with my friend who is very connected in entertainment. Unfortunately the interaction left such a bad taste in my mouth that I completely lost interest in hooking the dude up. But just to give the lady a second chance, I emailed her back saying that it was nice meeting her and her husband. She had emailed me first when she took down my email. Anyway, after I responded she never wrote back! So they are now officially blacklisted from my kindness list. But the whole experience was nasty. Truly nasty. Then again, as a Projector in Human Design, I am supposed to wait for the invitation...and I didn't... so be it! F*ck them!
On Wednesday my step daughter usually plays with a friend of hers at a kids event and then afterwards they play at the park... Well, the park thing only happened once. At that one time park meeting (that I was hoping would continue) I made the mistake of trying to have a deep conversation with the child's struggling out of work dad. I was trying to help him... but he didn't want to hear anything I had to say... Especially the part where I said I didn't take the covid vaccine and that I didn't really believe I would ever get sick from covid... and so I didn't. The kid's dad wasn't ready to hear all that... but I thought I would test him. The next thing you know he's cancelling our kid's get togethers. First he cancelled the park. Then he texted me on Wednesday and said they wouldn't make it to the event for the next two weeks since they are going out of town. I wonder if I'll ever hear from the guy again? I expect not!
On Thursday I caught my step daughter cheating and lying at a scavenger hunt. It was a big blow up...and as I expected... she's been doing this at every scavenger hunt just so she can get the free prize (oftentimes candy)! I realize I embarrassed her in front of the scavenger hunt staff, but I feel like this kid needs to learn to stop lying to everyone to get her way. Maybe a little embarrassment would do her some good? So when I told the scavenger hunt staff that she couldn't have candy as the prize because in reality she didn't even deserve a prize for cheating and then lying about cheating, one of the staff members tells my step daughter to listen to her mother. At this point my step daughter yells out with the worst meanest vibration, "She not my real mother." The energy ran through me... and perhaps that's when the mood disorder hit? I agreed that she was not my real daughter, however she lied and so she was not allowed to have the candy. At this point my step daughter was going nuts grabbing at the candy in the drawer, and these douchebag staff members disregard everything I say and let her take a piece.... It was screaming and crying thereafter as I rationally explained to her how many things would be taken away from her if she didn't hand me back the candy. I told her that she had a choice... Keep the candy and I tell her dad everything that happened or give me back the candy and I won't tell her dad. So she reluctantly hands me the candy...
However, now that she believed that I wasn't going to tell her dad what had happened she was preparing to do everything in her 7 year old power to exact revenge on me... and that's just what she did the next day! However, before Friday her dad was acting weird towards me when I secretly told him what had happened at the library. I felt like he was siding with his daughter (my step daughter)... so as we were arguing and insulting each other, I decided to go into silence and skip taking our daughter to school and picking her up from school the next day. I was officially on break!
Friday was peaceful until my step daughter came home. That's when she started eating candy right in front of me and making all kinds of comments about how delicious the candy was....trying to get a rise out of me. Ofcourse I ignored her... and I was still practicing silence! The whole time my step daughter was trying to prove to me that I had no real authority over her. She could just go to her dad for the candy that I took away. She also got caught lying to me a few more times which I found to be very disrespectful. She was basically saying "F*ck you Jennie" all Friday night without saying it. Then my friend tells me that he has to leave on Saturday afternoon and won't be returning until Sunday. So I'm supposed to spend all that time alone with my step daughter. But supposedly there was $1k in it for me. I had trouble sleeping that night and woke up feeling miserable on Saturday.
Between Friday and Saturday, I had found out from my friend/ music partner that our music situation was not all it was cracked up to be... Then I was told that I was supposed to get $20k but that the deal didn't go through. Then I was told that I wouldn't be getting the $1k that I was told I would get. I began to worry about money for cat food. I had basically run out of money and didn't want to ask anyone for help. I was praying and meditating and planning to put my bank account in the negatives temporarily to make sure my cats got fed. I was sinking into a depression and couldn't stop having negative thoughts about anything and everything. In a desperate moment on Saturday afternoon, I sat on my balcony with one ye ming zhu in each hand flat on my thighs with reiki running through them and started to declare in my mind over and over again, "I feel good and I keep feeling better." I was shocked at the results! I felt better...much better! So much better in fact, that I decided to purposely think about the stuff that had bothered me just to see if I cared about them anymore. I sure didn't. Wow!
As I was taking my Saturday nap, my step daughter broke the big rule and came into my bedroom waking me up saying she was hungry. She agreed to eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich just so she could manipulate me into staying in my bedroom a little longer and petting our cat Felix who was sleeping in my lap. As I was about to make the sandwich she decided that she wanted me to call her dad instead so he could order her some food to be delivered. I text messaged her dad , as I was still practicing silence, and explained everything that was going on. Long story short, her dad didn't buy her any food... she ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then had a crying tantrum when she found out that her dad wasn't going to buy her any food. She thought the sandwich was just going to be an appetizer. Turns out it was her dinner. She went to bed crying. But a few minutes later came out laughing and hugging me and saying how much energy she had. I was suspicious so I asked to see her book bag. She went crazy telling me not to look in the front pocket of the bag and held it tightly on the floor. I wasn't going to wrestle her for it. I waited. She finally handed me the bag. Well, what do you know?...Hidden candy! She lied to me and said that she didn't know it was there. However, the other night she also lied to her dad and told him that she had given him all the candy in the bag. So I took the candy, got my step daughter to take her sleep drops and she passed out.
What I didn't know that day, but found out on Sunday, is that I had made a sale on Ebay on Thursday and that the money was being sent to my bank account that Saturday! Well the transfer was being initiated on Saturday. I would receive the money on Monday... Just enough money to buy 2 cases of cat food and some cat treats that would last me until my next check arrives. The strangest thing is that Ebay never sent me an email letting me know about the sale. It just seemed to spontaneously appear when I needed the money the most. At that moment I knew that the universe was really looking out for me! And at that moment the negativity that had somehow snuck up on me was immediately gone like the wind... Was it ever really there? What I also didn't know, but found out on Monday night, was that my highly anticipated package from China, the one I had been waiting to receive for over 3 months, had already arrived on Saturday night! My good friend handed me my gift on Monday night! I was overjoyed! Now all the negativity that had somehow snuck up on me was really gone!
Jennie H is a Reiki Master Energy Healer, Co-Founder of Self Saviorz Society California Non-Profit 501(c)(3), Poet, Author and Entertainer with goals to help raise the vibration and consciousness of humanity!