As I grew up my mother would tell me that God doesn't exist because if there was a God then we wouldn't have so much evil in this world. My father didn't believe in God either. However, his philosophy was a bit different. He believed that this entire existence is just one ol' big coincidence. To this very day he still believes this. He used to tell me some crazy stuff. As a kid I remember telling him that some of my classmates still believed in Santa Claus. He replied, “That's nothing Jennie. Did you know that some adults still believe in God?” True story. What a lesson right? And my father loves telling this story to people he meets. Unfortunately, not everyone gets the joke. It could be considered a bit blasphemous to tell a young child such a thing. But if you grew up with my dad you would understand. This is his sense of humor and he was being very honest with me. He truly believed that God did not exist. And for the longest time, I too, claimed to be an atheist, because when you grow up with two atheist parents I suppose this is what happens. We start to take on the beliefs of those we are surrounded by. We become influenced by our environment. We become the company we keep to a certain degree. Then at some point we may decide to think for ourselves and question the status quo, instead of just believing what our parents or loved ones tell us is true.
When I moved away from home and went to live at college in Buffalo, NY, my philosophies did take a turn in another direction. At a particularly dark period of my life, when I was feeling sick both physically and mentally, I began to have a spiritual awakening. I felt a presence. Something was guiding me. Something told me that there is a higher power... a God force that is watching over me and everyone for that matter. The only proof I had was this overwhelming feeling that there was more...much more than nothing and coincidence. There is something...something miraculous to this existence. Something structured of a higher intelligence. Something perhaps unfathomable to our comprehension. However, regardless... there is something. There is meaning to all of this. I had faith and decided to believe based on what I intuitively felt at that time. I decided that I believed in God.
But back to the topic at hand. This still doesn't explain how God, a higher power, the universal spirit, or whatever name you may wish to call it... This still doesn't explain why this fantastical energy that controls everything that exists in this universe, in all the universes, would allow for such evil to exist in this world. So here's my philosophy on it. There's this God energy that exists. He, she, it...whatever it is, wants to experience everything that is possible in all of reality. This God energy experiences physical life through us. Our physical bodies are the physical representation of this divine force, and our minds are the mental representation. We are God. All of us collectively. We are all part of this whole. We are all really one. We are all connected to this powerful all-seeing, all-knowing frequency whether we know it or not. So God said one day, probably not in words, but more like an energetic thought, “I want to experience all that is possible in all of eternity”. Well, all that is possible would include the good with the bad correct? The happiness along with the sadness, so on and so forth.
I don't believe evil is really as evil as we believe it to be. In fact, I believe all that is wrong with this world exists to teach us what is right. We learn good from experiencing bad. This life is a lesson. The reality is...we are all pure love. However, we come here to this dimension and we forget what we truly are. We forget that we are one with this God energy. And I believe this is done on purpose so we can learn and grow and challenge ourselves. Because we have always been and will always be one with this energy. I have this vision... that before I got to this planet I was a beautiful white light full of love just floating in space for all of eternity. Just floating. Nothing happening. No excitement. Just pure bliss. Pure knowingness. Then one day I was like, “Damn, this sh*t is really boring! I mean, yeah, I'm pure happiness, bliss, love, whatever, but nothing is really happening here. I'm not experiencing much. I'm not creating anything. I'm just floating out here. I'm not really learning anything. I mean, I already know everything, so there's really nothing left for me to do here. I'm just stagnating to no end. No purpose. I might as well not even exist. Oh, you know what? I just remembered there's a planet called earth I heard about. Yeah, it's real bad there. I heard it's a horror. What a crazy challenge that would be...to be a human? You know what? I'm bored, I need a good test, sh*t, I'm going to Earth!” And the rest is history! Lol
I have this same image of God, a bright white light of love, peace, infinite knowledge, ultimate intelligence floating through space for all of eternity. At some point this existence may become boring don't you think? I believe an all-knowing, all-seeing God may want to test its immense powers and create something. Perhaps create something beyond miraculous? We all know how good it feels to create something amazing. We are all creators ourselves in the image of God. We are meant to create, build, expand and reproduce...not just remain stagnant. So perhaps God may divide himself/ herself up, create some planets, create some animals, create some humans...and let the craziness begin! You think not? In all this madness, chaos, horror, evil...there is still a higher order, a natural balance, a balance between positive and negative, good and bad. There is a structured genius to this whole thing. There is also immense beauty, love, peace and abundance. It is all here for us to play with. We are all Gods and Goddesses experiencing what it's like to be human, in a human body, with flaws and imperfections. We think we are these imperfect human bodies, but no, we are Gods and Goddesses experiencing humanity. And one day, when you're back in your original form, a bright white light floating in space, you'll be laughing! You'll be saying, “Wow, planet earth! What a trip!... Maybe I should go back there again for another round!” So much pain, so much suffering, yet so much beauty! Amazing!
Anyway, this is just my humble opinion...just a vision that comes to mind from time to time. Even in the worst of times I have to remember... I'm here to learn. I'm here to grow. I'm here to expand. I'm here to create. I'm here to experience this dimension in a human form. Try not to take things too seriously! All this suffering is but illusion. Remember, you are that brilliant blissful bright white light ... Always and forever! Now and for eternity!