Aries New Moon Thoughts of the Week: Words Are Like Arrows... Express Yourself Carefully!
I'd like to start off by saying that I felt even worse after writing and publishing my last article "My (Not So Great) First (and Probably Last) Experience at a Mikvah!" Yes, while it is true that I had a bad experience at the mikvah... an experience that left me feeling depressed for about a week, I felt even worse after writing about it. One of the reasons I felt worse is because the lady who I was talking about in the article was actually a nice lady. I don't think she intended to make me feel bad. I don't think she had any negative thoughts, feelings or intentions towards me whatsoever. Or if she did have negative thoughts about me, perhaps she wasn't consciously aware of them. You know, it's so difficult for me because I pick up on energy that people don't even realize they're putting out there. And then I appear to be the crazy one that's feeling things that don't seem to be rational. Someone can act extremely kind towards me, at least on the outside (on the surface), give me gifts and so forth, and yet I can feel all kinds of devious negative thoughts coming from this person that no one else can sense. I can feel this person's negative emotions and then their negative emotions become my negative emotions. I can feel sickness in people. This has been happening to me my entire life. Am I delusional? No! As a splenic projector (empath) I tend to feel people's feelings even more than they feel their own feelings. I even feel feelings and emotions that people don't know they are experiencing and then I amplify those feelings. When I was younger I would act out on these feelings, feelings that weren't even mine, and then I would look crazy and get judged as such. If someone was harboring anger, even if it wasn't necessarily directed at me, I could experience rage and not understand where it came from. If someone was feeling a bit sad, I could contract full blown depression,...sometimes a headache or stomach pain as well. I even got chest pains one time sitting next to someone in my car. I had to step out of the car to breathe and cry. Crazy right? And to this very day I still deal with this. That's why I just try to stay away from people altogether. But regardless I feel bad because I just don't think the mikvah lady knew what kind of energy she was exposing me to. I feel bad that I spoke negatively about her... publicly on this blog!
I also feel bad because I do not hate any groups of people, religions, races, genders, etc... I do not hate Jews...Reformed, orthodox, whatever.... I mean... They are my people. After all, I was raised Jewish. I just feel like my article may have come off a bit hateful, critical... perhaps judgmental. I've just had so many bad experiences with judgmental arrogant people that I feel that anyone that's so judgmental, arrogant or just plain negative cannot really be "my people". You know? The reality is, as I stated in my last article, every religion and race of people has its judgmental a-holes. Every race and religion also has kind loving people. I'd like to think that "my people" are the kind ones... But I don't think it's so cut and dry. Maybe I haven't been as kind as I'd like to think I've been?
So the thing that bothers me is... if our thoughts create our reality and we tend to attract like-minded people into our lives, then that begs the question... Just how critical and judgmental have I been my entire life and not realized it? Do I come off as arrogant at times? Perhaps? A know it all? I've been told this before. If I am encountering judgement or the energy of judgement... then I must harbor some judgement myself, right? I think the truth of the matter is that we all do! And based on our astrological placements some of us just happen to be more judgmental than others. This is reality. Then it dawned on me just how judgmental I am... as much as I pride myself open being open-minded and non-judgmental... I sure do talk a lot of sh*t about other people! And that could be a problem!
Yes, it's true. I am a product of my environment. I have close family members that have been critical and judgmental and stuck in their ways about quite a few things. I have close family members that believe that working a 9-5 job (or 9-3 as a school teacher) is the way to go. It sure did work out for them! And these family members have tried with all their might, for a very long time, to get me to work a 9-5 (or 9-3) job. Anything outside that box has not really been too acceptable. However, after many years of struggling with my relative's somewhat boxed in way of thinking, not to be judgmental because they probably see me as having a boxed in way of thinking as well, ha ha!... But after so many years of being condemned for my unconventional thoughts and ways of life... I think they've finally come to accept me for who I am. At least I hope they have! lol Maybe they just don't voice their opinions to me so much anymore. But for the longest time I was being judged and criticized for the choices I made in my life. And I'm sure that I am still being judged and criticized in certain respects. And that's okay. That's quite understandable. My relatives and I do not think exactly the same,... we do not share the exact same outlook on life. They don't even believe in God or a higher power you know? (or so they say) In reality, no two people think exactly alike but that's what makes everyone unique! This would be a pretty boring world if we all shared the same exacts thoughts and feelings. Although, being that we are all connected maybe we do all share the same thoughts and feelings (at least unconsciously)... and being that I am an empath I definitely share the thoughts and feelings of those I come around... definitely the feelings!
Now I have one close relative that is a bonafide sh*t talker....lol! Maybe that's where I got it from? I'm not going to name names... I'm not going to do that anymore. But I'm just trying to understand why I could be judgmental of others and talk so much sh*t myself... So anyway, the whole reason why I am going so deeply into this topic of judgment and sh*t talking is because of the torah portion I read last week that really opened my eyes. Parshat Tazria speaks about ritual impurity by way of a woman giving birth, as well as some kind of ancient skin disease that could also infect clothing, possessions and walls of homes. However, for a brief moment in the Parshat Tazria commentary, the sages speak about why people contracted this ancient disease in the first place. This disease, referred to as tzara'at, is said to have infected people with spiritual deficiencies. People who were very holy... yet not humble. People who were holy but who judged other people. In particular... people who were arrogant and/or who talked about other people in an evil negative slanderous way! Gossipers! Eureka! It hit me. I've been talking badly about people for a long time! I've actually said some really terrible stuff at times. And according to the Parshat Tazria commentary, slanderous talk is like shooting sharp arrows. Speaking badly about other people can do a lot of harm in this dimension. It can injure the target, it can injure the person who hears the gossip and it can even injure the person who spoke the words in the first place... The injury could happen immediately or some time in the future after the words are said... and if for some reason no one gets injured in our physical dimension, everything is still playing out in the spiritual dimensions. Souls are being injured! Wow!
On a side note, I have personally seen how evil words have affected people. I knew of a lady once who wished cancer on another lady. She hated this lady that she wished cancer on and ofcourse she talked sh* t about her all the time. The truth of the matter is, I didn't like the lady either and I talked a lot of sh*t about her too. Years later I found out that the lady that we both disliked and talked badly about actually did get cancer. But she beat it! Pretty wild stuff right? My good friend had a basketball coach when he was younger that treated him badly. The coach wouldn't allow him to shoot in the game. This coach ruined his chances of going pro. He's been talking badly about this coach for years. Always telling stories about how horrible he was. More recently, he put up a post on facebook saying that he wasn't sure if his coach was dead yet or what... but something to the effect of pissing on his grave. We found out that the coach was sick with some illness and died shortly after that post went up. This actually happened recently. My friend feels bad now for putting up the post. Terrible!
I had to have a good long internal conversation with myself about all of this. I've said some pretty nasty things about other people in this lifetime. I've said bad things about my own mother, my own father, my father's wife, my best friends, significant others, my cousins, business owners and even complete strangers. I've had problems with a lot of people. I've judged a lot of people. I have said a lot of bad things about a lot of people! Perhaps these people were judgmental towards me? Perhaps they were talking badly about me? Perhaps they were directing evil energy at me? But that doesn't make it right for me to stoop down to their level. No, I am not innocent. I've done some damage. Perhaps a great deal of damage... to other people and especially to myself. So, before Passover arrives this year, in about 9 days, it appears that I finally have to come to terms with some of my negative traits... some darkness that still exists within me that must now be filled with light. It's time for me to evolve now. It's time for me to stop talking badly about people, no matter how bad anyone treats me or makes me feel. It's time to be better! I would like to end this article by apologizing to all those whom I have hurt in this reality... past, present, future, as well as in the spiritual realms, by shooting harmful evil "word" arrows! I am sorry and I repent for my sins. God please forgive me! I know now that I've been wrong. I will try my best to do better from now on! I will try my best to not talk badly about anyone in my articles ever again! It's time for me to believe in the goodness of people so that the goodness of people can manifest in my life! That's how it works!
I would like to leave you with some eye opening passages written by the sages that I found on the chabad site at "Parshat Tazria In-Depth".... Enjoy!
"The Psalmist compares slanderous talk to “sharp arrows of the warrior, coals of broom” (Psalms 120:4). All other weapons strike at close quarters, while the arrow strikes from a distance. So is it with slander: it is spoken in Rome and kills in Syria. All other coals, when extinguished, are extinguished without and within; but coals of broom are still burning within when they are extinguished without. So is it with words of slander: even after it seems that their effects have been put out, they continue to smolder within those who heard them. It once happened that a broom tree was set on fire and it burned eighteen months—winter, summer and winter."
"Evil talk is like an arrow. A person who unsheathes a sword can regret his intention and return it to its sheath. But the arrow cannot be retrieved."
"To what may the tongue be compared? To a dog tied with an iron chain and locked in a room within a room within a room, yet when he barks the entire populace is terrified of him. Imagine if he were loose outside! So the tongue: it is secured behind the teeth and behind the lips, yet it does no end of damage. Imagine if it were outside!"
"Evil talk kills three people: the speaker, the listener, and the one who is spoken of."
(Talmud, Erachin 15a)
"The speaker obviously commits a grave sin by speaking negatively of his fellow. The listener, too, is a partner to this evil. But why is the one who is spoken of affected by their deed? Are his negative traits worsened by the fact that they are spoken of?"
Indeed they are. A person may possess an evil trait or tendency, but his quintessential goodness, intrinsic to every soul, strives to control it, conquer it, and ultimately eradicate its negative expressions and redirect it as a positive force. But when this evil is spoken of, it is made that much more manifest and real. By speaking negatively of the person’s trait or deed, the evil speakers are in effect defining it as such; with their words, they grant substance and validity to its negative potential.
But the same applies in the reverse: speaking favorably of another, accentuating his or her positive side, will aid him to realize himself in the manner that you have defined him."
(The Lubavitcher Rebbe)
"A man once came to see Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak of Lubavitch, and proceeded to portray himself as a villain of the worst sort. After describing at length his moral and spiritual deficiencies, he begged the rebbe to help him overcome his evil character.
“Surely,” said the rebbe, “you know how grave is the sin of lashon hara, speaking evilly of a human being. Nowhere, to my knowledge, does it say that it is permissible to speak lashon hara about oneself.”
Jennie H is a Reiki Master Energy Healer, Co-Founder of Self Saviorz Society California Non-Profit 501(c)(3), Poet, Author and Entertainer with goals to help raise the vibration and consciousness of humanity!